User:Raiseafloppafan7741/Draft

This is still a work in progress. It may be changed in the future.

803TW48UCYGW4NRJNW4IJGJEOGNIOEGN is an esoteric programming language by user:raiseafloppafan7741 in 2026 designed to make you feel extreme pain and agony even trying to think of the language.

Feel free to add any new mechanics.

Oh, and you may also refer to this page as 803TW-IncoherentMess-48UCYGW4NRJNW4IJGJEOGNIOEGN.

Etymology

Laptop keyboard smash.

Statistics

The program has a sanity stat. It starts at 100% and is halved after every instruction is executed. This means that you MUST replenish its sanity every other instruction.

The program also has a hunger stat. It starts at 0% and slowly rises to 100% by 10% increments per instruction. If your program reaches 100% hunger, it will start eating itself.

The program has a hypnosis stat. It starts at 0% and rises by 5% per instruction. You must use a specific instruction to prevent her from derailing your program.

The program has also signed a contract with Teto that it must give her baguettes for every instruction. The problem is if you don't give Teto a baguette for even one instruction, she will devour your program and it halts.

The program also keeps drinking FizzBuzz soda and is slowly going insane. Because of that, you must drink anti-FizzBuzz soda to counter its effects every instruction.

The program has also set up a lemonade stand, and for some reason a lot of ducks keep asking the program if they have any grapes. You must also prevent your program from pulling out a shotgun and killing the ducks, which would get it arrested for 56 counts of third-degree murder, which would get your program 280,180,521,905,902,190,529,015,091,209 death sentences.

The program is also currently doing an exam, but what a shame it didn't review! And to make matters worse, this exam is worth 200% of its grade! So you must also help the program pass this exam, whether via cheating or via remembering the answers, and if the program fails, it gets publicly executed right on the spot.

The program's classmates however, are 67 kids. You must prevent the program from being infected by the 67 virus! It slowly gets more infected by the 67 virus by 67% increments, and if you don't stop it then the program will eventually do nothing but print "67" forever.

The program is also very stressed and you must calm the program down, since all of this is happening and is not very easy to deal with. The program's stress bar must NOT reach 100%, otherwise it completes several forbidden programming languages that have never been implemented and the end of the world arrives.

With all of the above factors in mind, you must be incredibly careful while making programs.

Instructions

The above seems impossible since you have to give Teto a baguette, stall the yellow Miku, feed the program, keep it from shooting the ducks, keep it from going 67, help it in the exam, and keeping it sane, and more, all at the same time!!! To resolve this, instructions are actually composed of smaller micro-instructions. Specifically, an instruction consists of 16 micro-instructions, which may be extended in the future.

Instructions are formatted like this:

Ge Sn Hu Hy Te FB Ls Ex 67

There is a two-dimensional memory grid and 256 grid pointers. There are also two stacks.

General (Ge)

< and > go to the previous and next grid pointers respectively.

L flips the stacks to the left, or brings the top of the right stack to the top of the left stack.

R flips the stacks to the right, or brings the top of the left stack to the top of the right stack.

Performing successive Rs and Ls like this: RLRL... will immediately make your program more susceptible to being infected with the 67 virus, as the motion of the stacks resembles the 67 hand motion.

U moves the grid pointer up by the top of the left stack, while D does the same but goes down. l and r do the same but for left and right respectively.

🄯 copies the cell at the grid pointer and pushes it to the top of the left stack.

© pops the top of the left stack and copies it to the cell at the grid pointer.

If either stack is empty and you try to do something that needs them to not be empty, then your program is run through 50 steps of a generation loss simulation before overriding your program's file.

Print prints the stack top modulo 256, while In reads 1 byte of user input, returning 256 at EOF.

JumpIfZero will pop two values from the stack, and by the end of the instruction checks if the first one is zero, and if so jumps by the second instruction.

Sanity (Sn)

I will double the program's sanity, but will increase the program's stress delta by 50%.

テト will multiply the program's sanity by 41 without clamping it. However, it also means you owe Teto 40 extra baguettes.

Hunger

𰻞𰻞麵 will decrease the program's hunger by a 50% decrement.

Peek will look out for Teto. A 0 is pushed to the stack if she is not present and 1 if she is actively watching.

🥖 makes the program eat a baguette. However if Teto is looking, she will obfuscate your program's exam, making it almost impossible for the program to proceed.

Hypnosis

ネル will immediately eradicate your program's sanity and Teto will not like that, so your program gets murdered by a baguette and halts.

Teto's contract

The program has a stash of 10 baguettes initially.

📦 orders a box of 79 baguettes which will arrive after 8 instructions.

🥖 will give Teto a baguette.

FizzBuzz soda

FizzBuzz will cause the program to drink all of the FizzBuzz soda which does eliminate the risk for a short time, but means that unless mitigated immediately, the program will end up like Eidex.

>:( will annihilate one can of FizzBuzz soda. However, this means that some of the FizzBuzz soda will get into the lemons, which means the customers will have the side effects of FizzBuzz soda and the lemonade stand's ratings plummet depending on how many customers got infected.

Lemonade stand

There is a queue of customers, however around 40% of them will be ducks.

🍋 orders a crate of 57 lemons. However, they will not arrive until ten instructions later.

🍋🧃 gives lemon juice to the current customer in the queue.

Exam

Look looks either left or right, depending on the value of the left stack top modulo two. However, looking for too long will cause either the students to snitch on the program or the teacher to notice and publicly execute the program.

Backtrack moves the program to the previous question in the exam, or the first one if this is the first one.

Next moves the program to the next question in the exam, or the last one if this is the last one.

Think brings the program one step closer to the answer. However, it also consumes 5% sanity.

Answer answers the current question. After 50 of these, the exam is done and if the score is less than 90% or 45, then the program is publicly executed.

67

67 will immediately make the program go 67.

Resist will consume 5% sanity but reduces the 67 meter by 90%.

Examples

No. Please no.

See also

• Javagony - Java
• TMMLPTEALPAITAFNFAL
• ConstantLanguage(), a meta-language for designing constant languages
• Hey stack!
• RaiseAfloppaFan's Stupid Idea 0 - Stole most ideas from (sanity, etc.)
• Ghmi-Asden Tnauin - Another programming language designed to be hell
• Malbolge - A programming language that is hell