What the fuck is the Internet?

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What the fuck is the Internet? is a tape and stack machine by JayCampbell inspired by Jason Mewes' obscene rap in Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back.


Instruction Set

fuck fuck fuck increment current cell
motherfuck fuck increment current cell by 4
mother motherfuck fuck multiple current cell by 4
noinch noinch decrement cell
noinch noinch noinch zero cell
fuck fuck cell pointer moves right
fuck fuck motherfuck cell pointer moves left
who drinks the beers? we drink the beers begin a function
who smokes the weed? we smoke the weed end function definition
who rolls the blunts? we roll the blunts call Nth function determined by current cell
smoking weed weed weed begin loop, while current cell equals zero
drinking beers beers beers begin loop, while current cell equals top stack element
rolling blunts blunts blunts end a while loop
smoking weed, drinking beers, rolling blunts use in pairs to copy values to/from current cell, push/pop the stack, and I/O

Hello, World!

fuck fuck, motherfuck fuck
mother motherfuck fuck
mother motherfuck fuck

motherfuck fuck, motherfuck fuck
rolling blunts, smoking weed

fuck fuck motherfuck, fuck fuck fuck
motherfuck fuck
mother motherfuck fuck
motherfuck fuck, fuck fuck fuck
mother motherfuck fuck, fuck fuck fuck
rolling blunts, smoking weed
drinking beers, smoking weed

fuck fuck

fuck fuck

fuck fuck

smoking weed, drinking beers
fuck fuck motherfuck
fuck fuck motherfuck
fuck fuck motherfuck

motherfuck fuck
motherfuck fuck
noinch noinch

rolling blunts, smoking weed
rolling blunts, smoking weed
motherfuck fuck, noinch noinch
rolling blunts, smoking weed
drinking beers, smoking weed
fuck fuck, fuck fuck
smoking weed, drinking beers

fuck fuck motherfuck, fuck fuck motherfuck
noinch noinch noinch
motherfuck fuck, motherfuck fuck
mother motherfuck fuck, fuck fuck fuck
drinking beers, smoking weed
drinking beers, smoking weed
drinking beers, smoking weed

drinking beers, smoking weed
smoking weed, drinking beers
motherfuck fuck, motherfuck fuck
noinch noinch, motherfuck fuck
rolling blunts, smoking weed
smoking weed, drinking beers

noinch noinch

rolling blunts, smoking weed
fuck fuck, motherfuck fuck, motherfuck fuck
motherfuck fuck, motherfuck fuck
noinch noinch
rolling blunts, smoking weed

fuck fuck

rolling blunts, smoking weed

fuck fuck fuck, fuck fuck fuck, fuck fuck fuck
rolling blunts, smoking weed
fuck fuck
drinking beers, smoking weed
motherfuck fuck, motherfuck fuck
noinch noinch
rolling blunts, smoking weed
smoking weed, drinking beers
noinch noinch
rolling blunts, smoking weed
smoking weed, drinking beers
rolling blunts, smoking weed

Compilers

jay2ruby.rb compiles the noinch-noinches into runnable Ruby.

bob2jay.rb compiles a simpler token language to feed into jay2ruby. It was used on hello.bob to create the hello.jay example program.

For a quick proof of Turing Completeness, use bf2jay.rb to convert a brainfuck program into noinch-noinches. Note that neither cells nor the tape wrap.

To Do

  • Crystal compiler for LLVM optimized binaries
  • More examples