User:Raiseafloppafan7741/Draft II

This is still a work in progress. It may be changed in the future.

3 alive, 5 dead, 7 missing is an esoteric programming language by user:raiseafloppafan7741 in 2026. It is based on fungot's daily routine 99 bottles of pain and is probably the aftermath of drinking that much beer and going insane.

3 alive, 5 dead, 7 missing works similarly to 99 bottles of pain in the way that programs also resemble a song of some kind. The verses of the song are structured like this:

Find [x + y + z] people,
[y] were killed and [z] were kidnapped,
[x] alive, [y] dead, [z] missing.
Into the basement they went!

The action to perform is determined by the three integers.

The numbers must add up, otherwise the following error message is printed:

fungot knows your exact location. Run while you still can. Once it gets you, there is no escape.

Commands

These are the commands for different values of x, y, z, and w which is the sum of x, y, and z.

More specific rules take precedence over less specific rules. For example, "Mersenne prime" takes precedence over "Prime".

x	y	z	w (sum)	Action
Even composite	Even composite	Any	Semiprime	Load the LCM (least common multiple) of x and y, then added z, into variable w.
Semiprime	Even composite	Semiprime	Semiprime	Copy register x to register y with register z added.
Odd composite	Even composite	Even composite	Odd composite
Odd composite	Odd composite	Even composite	Even composite
Even composite	Even composite	Semiprime	Even composite	Subtract register y from register x and store the result in register z.
Even composite	Mersenne prime	Mersenne prime	Divisible by 57	Print the value of variable x modulo 256 as a byte.
Prime	Prime	Prime	Even composite	Read a byte of input from the user and store it into variable w. EOF is 257.

Examples

One Time Cat

Find 14 people,
5 were killed and 7 were kidnapped,
2 alive, 5 dead, 7 missing.
Into the basement they went!

Find 8208 people,
3 were killed and 8191 were kidnapped,
14 alive, 3 dead, 8191 missing.
Into the basement they went!

Cat program

UNFINISHED

Find 259 people,
256 were killed and 3 were kidnapped,
254 alive, 2 dead, 3 missing.
Into the basement they went!

Find 1574 people,
178 were killed and 1133 were kidnapped,
259 alive, 178 dead, 1133 missing.
Into the basement they went!

Find 16 people,
7 were killed and 2 were kidnapped,
5 alive, 7 dead, 2 missing.
Into the basement they went!

Find 10407932194664399081925240327364085538615262247266704805319112350403608059673360298012239441732324184842421613954281007791383566248323464908139906605677320762924129509389220345773183349661583550472959420547689811211693677147548478866962501384438260291732348885311160828538416585028255604666224831890918801847068222203140521026698435488732958028878050869736186900714720710555703168737294 people,
10407932194664399081925240327364085538615262247266704805319112350403608059673360298012239441732324184842421613954281007791383566248323464908139906605677320762924129509389220345773183349661583550472959420547689811211693677147548478866962501384438260291732348885311160828538416585028255604666224831890918801847068222203140521026698435488732958028878050869736186900714720710555703168729087 were killed and 8191 were kidnapped,
16 alive, 10407932194664399081925240327364085538615262247266704805319112350403608059673360298012239441732324184842421613954281007791383566248323464908139906605677320762924129509389220345773183349661583550472959420547689811211693677147548478866962501384438260291732348885311160828538416585028255604666224831890918801847068222203140521026698435488732958028878050869736186900714720710555703168729087 dead, 8191 missing.
Into the basement they went!

Input is stored in register 16, the constant 257 in 259 and 178, and the difference in [register]

The ridiculously big verse is output.

See also

• fungot, an IRC bot on #esolangs on Libera.Chat written by User:fizzie in Funge-98. It has a Markov model with an insane disposition.
• User:Dragoneater67 - One of the 8198 missing from the One Time Cat program.
• 99 bottles of pain