User:Cinnamony/Guides/Break someone

From Esolang
Jump to navigation Jump to search

We're all made of glass, you and I, but here are some techniques to break them faster:

Level 1

These techniques are for the easily broken, A.K.A. anneal glass.

  1. Go near them
  2. Ask them about their money
  3. Ask them about sensitive topics (base them off the age they look like they are)
  4. Give them pizza. Than more pizza. Pizza them until they shatter.
  5. Drop them in a crowd. With a helicopter.
  6. Tell them you can read their mind. Worth a try

Level 2

These techniques are for the medium-difficulty broken.

  1. Drop them in a crowd. From outer space.
  2. Give them fruit punch. As in, punch them with a fruit.
  3. Give them a pizza your mind (or just give them blood pizza it doesn't really matter)
  4. Do a blood test. With a gun.

Level 3

If you aren't affected by these techniques, you are stronger than polycarbonate panels

  1. Butter them up. With a knife.
  2. Tell them their stupid compared to a comatose mollusk. Than turn them into a comatose mollusk.
  3. Shove headphones on their ears, and play an annoying song on repeat.
  4. What did Trump get accused of? What is the most heinous crime you can think of? What is considered a form of abuse? Do that or something.

Note

Before you put me on your FBI watchlist, this is made for purely comical purposes. Do not do anything on this list in real life, unless it is socially acceptable or it is in your personality.

Note 2

I shouldn't have imagined what the last item on this list would be like if it happened to me...

I'm still not telling what it is.

Retrieved from "https://esolangs.org/w/index.php?title=User:Cinnamony/Guides/Break_someone&oldid=110516"