Hq(-

Hq(- is a derivative of HQ9+ but weak.

• H prints "hi god"
• q prints the program's source code's first character's ascii value.
• ( prints the last line of 99 Bottles of beer.
• - adds ¹/∞ or in other words, zero

Yep. Basically does every BAD example program

Interpreter

Here is an interpreter written in Python 3.

try:
    f = open("code.hq")
    code = f.read()
    f.close()
except FileNotFoundError:
    print("Error: file 'code.hq' does not exist")
    exit(1)

acc = 0

for c in code:
    if c == "H":
        print("hi god")
    elif c == "q":
        print(ord(code[0]))
    elif c == "(":
        print("No bottles of beer on the wall.")
    elif c == "-":
        acc += 0

Examples

Output the meaning of life

*q

XKCD Random Number

�q

Replace � with \x04.