Enterprise™

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Enterprise™ defines itself as a "non-deterministic-unnecessarily-statically-typed™ Turing-complete-ish™, Quantum-out-of-the-box™ programming language" with the goal to "designed to create computer programs that disrupt markets".

It was created in 2019 inspired by Rockstar.

It's main features parody Java in verbosity and in actual usage, as in its rule that all actual code should go on the `main` method. Other methods and variables can be created, but they have to start with `unnecessary` as they are not really used.

The language also parodies the enterprise environment, for instance, by having many different types of comments – its "most important bit" – like the "deadline" and "and" comments, having no numeric type except Money, because "in Enterprise™ numbers are generally used to represent Money, having shortcuts for big numbers like 1B (the unicorn) and 1T (the Apple) and having all its issues marked as "top prio".

Fizzbuzz

 /©
   This code is property of Enterprise™.
 ©/
 
 import disruptive library com.disruptive.IO.write.delegator.dlIOWriteDelegator;;;
 
 /NDA
   This document is regulated by NDA 758-1.
 NDA/
 
 final disruptive class fdcFizzBuzzDelegator {
   final immutable void main () {
     var Money x = 0;;;
     var String out = "";;;
 
     while (x < 1k) {
       if(x % 5 == 0 && x % 3 == 0) {
         write("Fizz Buzz");;;
       } else {
         if(x % 3 == 0) {
           write("Fizz");;;
         } else {
           if(x % 5 == 0) {
             write("Buzz");;;
           } else {
             write(x);;;
           }
         }
       }
 
       mutate x++;;;
     }
   }
 
   final unnecessary Money appleValuation () {
     /?
       This code is so useful.
     ?/
 
     unnecessary var Money applVltn = 2T;;;
 
     return applVltn;
   }
 }

References