Why? Why? Why?

Why? Why? Why? is an unimplemented esoteric programming language created by User:TheCatFromGithub in 2025. It explores programming through beliefs and persuasion, where every command is accompanied by a reason, and the computer’s personality determines whether it believes the reason enough to act.

Statements

Each statement consists of two parts:

• Imperative: The action to perform.
• Declarative: The reason or condition that justifies performing the imperative.

The imperative executes only if the computer believes the declarative part.

Believability is expressed as a probability b (between 0 and 1), representing how strongly the computer believes the declarative statement.

Execution Logic

• Because statements have the form:

<imperative> because <declarative>.

The imperative executes based on the belief in the declarative.

• Unless statements have the form:

<imperative> unless <declarative>.

The imperative executes only if the declarative is not believed.

Personalities and Belief Evaluation

Different computer personalities interpret the belief b differently to decide whether to execute the imperative.

Personality	Belief Evaluation
Standard	Executes with probability b.
Contrarian	Executes with probability 1 - b.
Gullible	Executes if b ≥ 0.3.

Examples

print "Hello, World!" because I told you to.
increment x unless you are a human.
shutdown system because it is nighttime.

In these examples, whether the commands execute depends on how strongly the computer believes the declaratives like "I told you to" or "you are a human."