Vaffanculo

This is still a work in progress. It may be changed in the future.

Vaffanculo is an esoteric programming language designed by PSTF, which is designed to let the user be tortured to death by the programming language. You're free to edit this language to make it even horribler.

Name

This is generated by DeepSeek R1-671b, which is originally named "Obscura", but I think "Vaffanculo" is better (because "Vaffanculo!" means "Fuck you!" in Italian).

Mechanism

Core idea: Transform simple logic into a symbolic maze through non-intuitive syntax, context-sensitive rules, and implicit operations.

Feature

It IS Turing-complete because conditional jumps, loops, and recursion are supported, but are implemented through counter-intuitive notation (such as, with ??> denotes a loop, ^? indicates conditional negation).

The variable name must be Base64 encoded in the prime hash value (such as i → aQ==), and the type is randomly inferred at runtime. You can explicitly lock the type by !!. If a variable name has a hash value of composite number, 0, or 1, then it will directly output "Coal" then halts.

A symbol will have many meaning which is decided by the position, such as * will be multiplication when two numbers are *-ed, be replication when an array/string *-ed with a number, and be pointer if it is in front of a variable.

Instructions

Conditions

Use the keywords whisper (if) and shout (else), conditional expressions must contain undefined behavioral side effects.

Example:

whisper (aQ== !~ 0xDEADBEEF) {
  shout "Error" ??> stdout;
}

Loops

Using the orbit keyword, the termination condition needs to satisfy the formal undecidability of Gödel's incompleteness theorem.

Example:

orbit (aQ== < (self => entropy())) {
  aQ== += *??> [1, 0, -1];
}

Functions and type systems

Reflective functions

The function name must be in the first 8 digits of the SHA-256 hash value of its signature, and the parameters must be accompanied by a CRC32 check code.

Example:

func d4a3c7e2(x: int @CRC=0x1A3F) -> int {
  return x ^ (x >> 3);
}

Transcendental Types

The type must satisfy abstract algebraic group theoretic properties, such as:

type Monoid<T> where T: (|assoc|, |identity|);

Standard libraries and toolchains

Chaotic Standard Library

The function name changes every 24 hours (e.g. print may become f9e2d1a4) and the documentation is written in a mixture of multiple languages (Latin, Sanskrit, etc).

Compiler behavior

The error message is in the form of a riddle (e.g. the error message of SEGFAULT: "The key to the seventh door is broken in the recursive abyss").

The debugger only shows a hexadecimal dump of memory, which requires manual disassembly.

Examples

Hello, world!

Note: This app will be disabled at any time.

import std::a1b2c3d4 as io;

func main() {
  let msg = "Hello, world!" !! str;
  io::f9e2d1a4(msg @CRC=0x3E7F) ??> stdout;
}

Factorial

Note: Entropy overflow needs to be handled.

func d4a3c7e2(n: int @CRC=0x1A3F) -> int {
  whisper (n == 0) {
    return 1;
  }
  shout {
    return n * self(n-1 ^ (n & 0xFF));
  }
}

Survival Guide

How to debug: Convert code to Cartesian coordinate system graphics to find singularities in the topology.

Learning curve: Expected to reach "Hello World" proficiency in 10 years and understand pointer calibration algorithms in 20 years.

Vaffanculo - Not all code is meant to be understood, but every line is metaphysical art.