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PTL
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PTL stands for the PoTtery Lottery, and has seven commands:
M - install thousands of viruses on your computer N - do a random command in a random choice of one of these: BF, HQ9+ A - installs adware on your computer B - deletes system32 and system64 P - gives p*rn to innocent children and toddlers J - turns your computer into poisonous jelly C - freezes your blood and turns it blueish green
Any other character (except spaces, tabs, and newlines) run all the commands at once.
Examples
Hello World
This has a 8.33% (1 in 12) chance of working:
N
Cat
This has a 1.67% (1 in 60) chance of working:
NNNNN
Truth-machine
This has a 0.29% (1 in 348) chance of working:
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN