PTL

PTL stands for the PoTtery Lottery, and has seven commands:

M - install thousands of viruses on your computer
N - do a random command in a random choice of one of these: BF, HQ9+
A - installs adware on your computer
B - deletes system32 and system64
P - gives p*rn to innocent children and toddlers
J - turns your computer into poisonous jelly
C - freezes your blood and turns it blueish green

Any other character (except spaces, tabs, and newlines) run all the commands at once.

Examples

Hello World

This has a 8.33% (1 in 12) chance of working:

N

Cat

This has a 1.67% (1 in 60) chance of working:

NNNNN

Truth machine

This has a 0.29% (1 in 348) chance of working:

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN