Just Another Verybad esolAng

Disclaimer: any similarities between Just Another Verybad esolAng and another language with a name similar to its acronym are definitely on purpose.

Just Another Verybad esolAng is similar to Java, except with the following changes:

1. The name of the language is Just Another Verybad esolAng
2. That's it. There are no more differences.

Just Another Verybad esolAng

Paradigm(s)	Object Oriented
Designed by	User:DanielVenable
Appeared in	2026
Computational class	Turing complete
Major implementations	anything that runs Java

Motivation

This is a language designed to make fun of Java. Like many esolangs, Just Another Verybad esolAng is designed to be difficult to program in, annoying, and very bad. Many esolangs make fun of existing programming languages by exaggerating details. In this case, no exaggerations are needed. Java is already difficult to program in, annoying, and very bad.

Features

Just Another Verybad esolAng comes with many terrible features:

Null

Often called "the billion dollar mistake", null is a feature that allows any object to unexpectedly not exist and crash your program.

Classes

Classes are a feature in programming languages that is occasionally useful. In Just Another Verybad esolAng, you are forced to use them whether you want to or not.

Inheritance

Inheritance lets you have objects of one class pretend to be objects of a "parent" class. It makes your code much more complex for no benefit.

Overloading

Overloading lets you have multiple functions with the same name.

JVM

Some languages are compiled, which has the downside of an extra compilation step before programs can be run. Other languages are interpreted, which has the downside of needing an interpreter to run programs. Just Another Verybad esolAng uses the JVM (Justanother Virtual Machine) which gives the worst of both worlds. It requires you to compile the code before it can be run, but also requires your users to install the JVM before running your code.

Implementations

Any thing that runs Java will also run Just Another Verybad esolAng. That's because they are identical except for the name.

Hello World

public class HelloWorld {
    public static void main(String[] args) {
        System.out.println("Hello, World!"); 
    }
}