Useless

Useless is a useless programming language (unless you want to put the world in danger).

Commands:

 FAIL - Obsolete
 NOT - Discouraged
 NEVER - Illegal
 IDK - Undefined
 BOOM! - Dangerous to executing unit
 KABOOM! - Dangerous to world
 NO. - Halts
 QWAOZAPWQFUOA - Impossible to understand
 WUT? - Platform dependant
 WHERE? - Doesn't exist
 DONTUSEME(n) - Deprecated, will be replaced with DONTUSEME(n + 1) in 24 hours (relative to this post (00:09, 12 April 2011, GMT + 1)) - Note: n starts as 0, then 1, and so on - Will open n empty unclosable windows
 HOW? - Impossible to execute
 ILLEGAL - Not enough rights
 GODEXISTS - Proves that the program is crazy
 WINDOWS - Makes the program suck and popular - OPTIONAL
 NOOP - Does nothing at all
 INCLUDE-xxx - Will add a command with the name xxx (not the name "xxx", but something with the same name as what is written there) that has the same effect as a random command
 TURINGVSALONZO - Generate a random valid no-input BF program, execute it and interpret the output as a UTM, execute it and interpret the output as a lambda calculus program, execute it and throw away the result

External resources

• Interpreters from Codegolf competition