Swissen Machine

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The Swissen Machine is an Esoteric computer devised by Jussef Swissen. (Esoteric computer in this page is defined as a computer utilizing features not normally used in popular computers.) The Swissen Machine can never exist, as the Swissen Machine contradicts with its own definition. See the talk page.


The computer the user is using to read this paper most likely runs on binary digits. The computer operates on states of 1's and 0's, on and off, true and false, yes and no. A Swissen Machine runs on only one state. Simple computer knowledge should tell anyone that this would be impossible to implement, due to the fact that a computer always has at least 2 states to perform basic logical functions(e.g. the End Of File detection states). The Swissen Machine, however, would be a computer that:

  1. Has no logic whatsoever, yet is still able to function.
  2. Instead uses the one state it has to perform computations based on environmental factors.

These are the two criteria for a true Swissen Machine. The second criteria is trivial, as all computers have stable states, and all computers have environmental factors(as shown in the talk page.) However, all attempts at implementing a language or computers would be able to fill one of these criteria, as shown in the talk page; therefore, Swissen Machines can not be implemented. The most that can be done is implementing exactly one of these criteria into a language. No equivalent computer exists that would be equivalent to its power, including the Swissen Machine.

Language Implementation

Someone else has modified the small esoteric programming language called "Hugo" to help prove that the Swissen Machine is impossible to exist. It implements a Swissen Machine using the environmental factor of time and End Of Files. A valid Hugo program would consist of only one number, 1. The interpreter for this language would take exactly 1 second to process each 1 that is entered in the Hugo program. Depending on the amount of seconds taken to process the entire program, it prints an ASCII character whose decimal value is equivalent to the number of seconds taken to run the program. For example, this Hugo program prints "F".


Hugo (inevitably and inexorably) satisfies part 2 of the the criteria need for a Swissen Machine. Languages, that are able to simulate exactly one of the Swissen Machine criteria, like Hugo, are described as, "Swissen Implemented".