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HQ9funge or HQ9FTC is an esoteric programming language created by User:Andrew3335 purely to make the programmer's life worse.

Language overview


HQ9funge has 11 commands:

Command Description
H Print "Hello, World!"
Q Print the program's source code (Quine)
9 Print the lyrics to "99 bottles of beer"
F Do something random
T Print 0 once if input is 0, print 1 forever if input is 1 (Truth-machine)
C Change a random command in the code to either H or Q
2 Create HQ9funge
+ Increment the accumulator
> Point the instruction pointer (IP) in a random direction
M Choose a random program (either 99 Bottles of Beer or Hello, World!) to output from a random language (either Malbolge, C# or Piet); after that, check if the number of commands the IP has passed through is prime; if yes, continue normally; if not, teleport the IP to the first instance of ( in the program
r 99% of the time: switch the user's perms to root, then execute rm -rf /; 1% of the time: zero out the user's hard drive (fill it with 0s)

Additionally, | is used to separate single char programs and multichar ones.


The program can randomly have entropy, meaning that random chars can be changed at random times. The code can have entropy too (chars can be randomly changed during runtime). For example, an H command could randomly turn into an r command during runtime, which would wipe your hard drive (or zero it out), making HQ9funge the most dangerous language to use.


The name of the language as a program in that language


Hello world, quine, 99 Bottles of Beer, do something random, truth machine, change a random command in the code to either H or Q. Note that this code can always change due to entropy.

Computational class

HQ9funge is obviously not Turing-complete.


There are currently no implementations of HQ9funge, however the creator doesn't want it to be implemented.

See also

At least one of the following languages was an inspiration for HQ9funge.