25 bytes (O_o)
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25 bytes (O_o) is an esolang by User:PrySigneToFry and inspired by 5 bytes ;) which is inspired by 0 bytes XD which is inspired by 9 bytes :I which is inspired by 13 bytes :D which is inspired by 16 bytes :P which is inspired by 25 bytes o:.
Command table
Cmd  Description 

E

Addition: Pop two values a and b, then push the result of a+b 
~

Subtraction: Pop two values a and b, then push the result of ba 
%

Multiplication: Pop two values a and b, then push the result of a*b 
@

Integer division: Pop two values a and b, then push the result of b/a, rounded down. According to the specifications, if a is zero, ask the user what result they want. 
'

Modulo: Pop two values a and b, then push the remainder of the integer division of b/a. 
~

Logical NOT: Pop a value. If the value is zero, push 1; otherwise, push zero. 
)

Greater than: Pop two values a and b, then push 1 if b>a, otherwise zero. 
[

PC direction right 
*

PC direction left 
R

PC direction up 
q

PC direction down 
X

Random PC direction 
a

Horizontal IF: pop a value; set direction to right if value=0, set to left otherwise 
(

Vertical IF: pop a value; set direction to down if value=0, set to up otherwise 
"

Toggle stringmode (push each character's ASCII value all the way up to the next " )

+

Duplicate top stack value 
M

Swap top stack values 
p

Pop top of stack and discard 
^

Pop top of stack and output as integer 
u

Pop top of stack and output as ASCII character 
N

Bridge: jump over next command in the current direction of the current PC 
c

A "get" call (a way to retrieve data in storage). Pop two values y and x, then push the ASCII value of the character at that position in the program. If (x,y) is out of bounds, push 0 
¶

A "put" call (a way to store a value for later use). Pop three values y, x and v, then change the character at the position (x,y) in the program to the character with ASCII value v 
}

Get integer from user and push it 
×

Get character from user and push it 
@

End program 
0123456789

Push corresponding number onto the stack 
Examples
Not on display.
Implementation
The implementation must has 25 bytes. So YOU CAN NEVER IMPLEMENT THIS!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Someone please make an implementation with 4294967271 bytes, then run it on a system that stores the file size as a 32bit unsigned int but displays file sizes as a 32bit int.
So YOU CAN IMPLEMENT THIS!!!! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!
I'm waiting... Xyzzy (talk) 04:25, 30 October 2024 (UTC)