-25 bytes (O_o)

-25 bytes (O_o) is an esolang by User:PrySigneToFry and inspired by -5 bytes ;) which is inspired by 0 bytes XD which is inspired by 9 bytes :I which is inspired by 13 bytes :D which is inspired by 16 bytes :P which is inspired by 25 bytes o:.

Command table

Cmd	Description
E	Addition: Pop two values a and b, then push the result of a+b
2	Subtraction: Pop two values a and b, then push the result of b-a
%	Multiplication: Pop two values a and b, then push the result of a*b
@	Integer division: Pop two values a and b, then push the result of b/a, rounded down. According to the specifications, if a is zero, ask the user what result they want.
'	Modulo: Pop two values a and b, then push the remainder of the integer division of b/a.
~	Logical NOT: Pop a value. If the value is zero, push 1; otherwise, push zero.
)	Greater than: Pop two values a and b, then push 1 if b>a, otherwise zero.
[	PC direction right
*	PC direction left
R	PC direction up
q	PC direction down
X	Random PC direction
a	Horizontal IF: pop a value; set direction to right if value=0, set to left otherwise
(	Vertical IF: pop a value; set direction to down if value=0, set to up otherwise
"	Toggle stringmode (push each character's ASCII value all the way up to the next ")
+	Duplicate top stack value
M	Swap top stack values
p	Pop top of stack and discard
^	Pop top of stack and output as integer
u	Pop top of stack and output as ASCII character
N	Bridge: jump over next command in the current direction of the current PC
c	A "get" call (a way to retrieve data in storage). Pop two values y and x, then push the ASCII value of the character at that position in the program. If (x,y) is out of bounds, push 0
¶	A "put" call (a way to store a value for later use). Pop three values y, x and v, then change the character at the position (x,y) in the program to the character with ASCII value v
}	Get integer from user and push it
×	Get character from user and push it
@	End program
0123456789	Push corresponding number onto the stack

Examples

Not on display.

Implementation

The implementation must has -25 bytes. So YOU CAN NEVER IMPLEMENT THIS!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!