Spite

Spite is a language by User:Nysnamovois based on lisp cells with monadic IO.

$^fgx = $f$gx $`fgx = $$fx$gx $.x = x $kxy = x $$Kxy = x $:fghx = if $fx then $gx else $hx $?,xy = t $?a = f $;fgx = ,$fx$gx $Mfy = return $fy $B,xf = x >>= f $b,xy = x >> y

Hello world: $^`<.;k:?>^b;^P><`<;< >>^P>.,%h,%e,%l,%l,%o,% ,%w,%o,%r,%l %d

99 Bottles (almost): $`<<.,,:=>>k48`<>< >^b;`<>< > `<<;<`<>>< >^b;^b;`<>< >`<>>>< <>>>>`<<;<`<>>< >,^b;:=k48,:=>k48;^-;k1,^`<.;k:?>^b;^P><`<;< >>^P>.,% ,%b,%o,%t,%t,%l,%e,%s,% ,%o,%f,% ,%b,%e,%e,%r,% ,%o,%n,% ,%t,%h,%e,% ,%w,%a,%l,%l,%,% ,57 57

I'm not willing to go much further by hand.

A terrible haskell implementation is available here.