Secretary

Secretary is an esoteric programing language created by user User:wingpad in 2013. It was designed to be run by a secretary at their desk. Its premise is that a secretary is reading your program as an instruction book. In addition, it can conveniently be interpreted by a computer. It features multiple programming models including an array of memory cells, push-down automata and support for primitive function calls. It is Turing-complete since it can interpret Brainf**k.

Humor
If an instruction is given in ALL CAPS, there is a 50% chance the secretary will be offended and ignore it completely. It will not, however, ignore bookmarks given in all caps.

Sample Programs
A cat program which stops at 0 open book take from incoming bookmark loop toss into outgoing take from incoming if nonzero then turn to loop close book A Hello, World! program that dumps the string onto the stack open book remark Toss the starting zero onto the pile toss onto pile remark Toss Hello, World! onto the stack make 10 toss onto pile make '!' toss onto pile make 'd' toss onto pile make 'l' toss onto pile make 'r' toss onto pile make 'o' toss onto pile make 'w' toss onto pile make ' ' toss onto pile make ',' toss onto pile make 'o' toss onto pile make 'l' toss onto pile make 'l' toss onto pile make 'e' toss onto pile make 'H' toss onto pile take off pile remark Here is where the program starts bookmark start remark Toss whatever is in your hand onto the outgoing toss onto outgoing remark And take the next character off the string take off pile remark If the character is not zero, loop back to the start bookmark if nonzero then turn to start close book A primitive function call example (will print 30\n) open book make 10 toss onto pile make 20 toss onto pile call add take off pile toss into outgoing as int make 10 toss into outgoing close book

remark Adds the two numbers on top of the pile (lpile) remark Destroys Immed and cannot handle negatives bookmark add take off lpile toss onto rpile bookmark addLoop take off lpile subtract toss onto lpile take off rpile add toss onto rpile copy from lpile if nonzero then turn to addLoop take off rpile toss onto lpile hang up

External resources

 * Original Site w/ Interpreter, Sample Code and Definitions
 * Brainf**k to Secretary Converter