Cheese++

Cheese++ is a programming language based almost entirely on the operational working principles of cheese.

Syntax
Cheese++ is case-sensitive.

Hello World
Cheese Wensleydale(SwissHello WorldSwiss)Brie NoCheese

Variable declaration
Glyn(                                      //initiates variable declarations  VarName(value)                                   //declares a variable called VarName, of value 'value'  ) Brie                                      //indicates end of variable declarations

99 bottles of beer
Unfortunately, due to a persistent and unprecedented compiler bug, any Wensleydale functions containing the words 'bottles' and 'beer' cause runtime errors and immediate data corruption. This lends more of a challenge to creating this program. However, it is possible to circumvent this by calling a system function called 'Edam', which replaces occurrences of specified character sets with the words 'bottles' and 'beer' respectively. This occurs as following: Edam(word1,word2)Brie

Now to demonstrate the working program:

Cheese                                                                     //begins program Glyn(Number(99))Brie                                                     //declares a variable 'number' of value 99 Edam(slices,cheese)Brie Cheddar                                                                 //repeat loop Wensleydale(Glyn(Number)Swiss slices of cheese on the wall.Swiss)Brie  //prints line. Number is outside the swiss tags as it is a variable //replaced by 'bottles' and 'beer' at runtime Glyn(Number=Number-1) Brie                                             //Glyn operator used Coleraine(Glyn(Number = 0)) Brie                                        //until Number = 0 NoCheese

Quine
Quines in Cheese++ are easily coded. The function 'Belgian' will print out the entire source code of the program to the console. Cheese Belgian Brie NoCheese

Cat
There are no user input functions in base Cheese++, so this is impossible.

Classification
Development is in initial stages, but researchers currently believe that in its final form it will be Turing-complete.

Compiler
The compiler is still in development. It is being written in its (no longer publicly available) parent language, Cheese+.